How to Thrive During Times of Personal Crises: Embrace All Your Emotions
It has been said that the absence of pain does not guarantee happiness. However, many people believe that we must eliminate the "bad" in order to make room for the "good." Whether or not this is true for you, I believe the idea that we are pre-programmed for happiness is dangerous. This idea can lead to an obsessive focus on suffering (and how to eliminate it), which can lead to us ignoring the things that are currently joyful or happy in our lives. In order to move forward in our lives during times of great difficulty, we must bring our focus into balance and become aware that both suffering and joy can coexist simultaneously.
To further elaborate, I believe that it is important to acknowledge the pain that we experience in life. However, we don’t have to let it consume us. We could also focus on the things that bring us joy, even in the midst of what brings us pain. This can help us to move forward and find hope for the future.
The End of the Disease Model
Several decades ago, the focus of traditional psychological therapy was to heal the pain so the happiness can come through - otherwise known as “the disease model”. Today, psychologists know that greater benefits are derived from the ability to become aware of what is presently happy in our lives even in the midst of what is not. Furthermore, neuroscientific research shows that our brain has the ability to feel both suffering and happiness at the same time. This phenomenon is referred to as "emotional ambivalence”.
Studies have shown that it is common to experience emotional ambivalence in difficult or stressful situations. For instance, you might feel happy and sad at the same time when you win a disappointing prize, or you might feel both warmth and sadness when you remember a lost love. Experiencing mixed emotions can be helpful in these situations because it allows you to acknowledge both the positive and negative aspects of the event. This can help you to cope with the stress of the situation and to find meaning in it.
Emotional Ambivalence: A Beneficial Force
There is some empirical evidence to support the idea that emotional ambivalence is beneficial. For example, one study found that people who experienced mixed emotions after a bereavement were more likely to recover from their grief than those who only experienced negative emotions. Another study found that people who experienced mixed emotions during psychotherapy were more likely to improve their psychological well-being than those who only experienced positive or negative emotions.
Furthermore, research shows that emotional ambivalence can be helpful during times of personal crisis because it allows us to think more creatively and come up with new solutions to problems. The basic idea is that when we are feeling a lot of different emotions it can be difficult to focus on one thing. As it turns out, this can actually be a good thing, because it allows us to see things from different perspectives. When we become aware of these different perspectives, the intensity of negative emotions decreases, allowing our brain to come up with unique solutions to our problems.
Overall, the evidence suggests that experiencing mixed emotions can be a healthy and adaptive way to cope with difficult or stressful situations.
Some ways to make use of emotional ambivalence during times of crisis are:
Allow yourself to feel all of your emotions, even the negative ones. This doesn't mean you have to dwell on them, but it's important to acknowledge them.
Talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling. This can be a friend, family member, therapist, or anyone else you feel comfortable talking to.
Find healthy ways to cope with your emotions, such as exercise, journaling, or spending time in nature.
Be patient with yourself. It takes time to process difficult emotions, so don't expect to feel better overnight.
Remember that you're not alone. Everyone experiences emotional ambivalence during times of crisis.
Seek professional help if you need it. A therapist can help you develop coping mechanisms and manage your emotions in a healthy way.
If you are going through a personal crisis, it is important to remember that emotional ambivalence can actually be helpful in improving your well being and your creative problem solving. With professional help and support, you can learn to harness these experiences to help you move forward through your personal crisis.
If you are interested in learning more about how to harness your emotions to move forward through your personal crisis, let’s talk! Reach out to me at hello@pamela-dussault-consulting.com to schedule your free 20 minute consultation. For more information about me and my work please visit www.pamela-dussault-consulting.com.
Summary
The article discusses the idea that the absence of suffering does not mean that we will be happy. It argues that this is a good thing, as it allows us to focus on the positive aspects of our lives even in difficult times. The article also discusses the concept of emotional ambivalence, which is the ability to feel both positive and negative emotions at the same time. It argues that emotional ambivalence can be helpful in coping with difficult situations.
